I am of 50% of the PD patients that experience this mood disturbance. Mood disturbances in PD lead to worsening of function and quality of life. Despite their high occurrence and negative effect, mood changes in PD are less well-studied and understood than motor symptoms.
Studies show that 1 out of every 2 patients experience depression and/or anxiety some time during their illness. I do experience depression and/or anxiety at different times. I feel that I have isolated myself from society. I don’t go out much because I don’t want people to see me the way I am now.
I occasionally have psychotic symptoms which include visual hallucinations and sometimes suspicion thinking. This part is crazy and yes, I have had these happen to me. The first time I had a visual was about 1 year ago. I could see standing in my doorway a midget. It was so real. Plus, I have been out in my yard, by myself, and started thinking that there were people in the woods staring at me. I had to go back into the house. It was so freaky. A couple of months ago, I visualized, in the middle of the night, that there were helicopters outside my window. I could see the headlights, hear the helicopters and see the light beams from the guns they had on me. It was very real. I woke Tony up and was crying and holding on to him very tight. I was happy he had patience with me through that night.
There are times when I wake up and cannot remember my dreams. However, Tony sure does.
At times, we can look back and laugh.
© Written by Mary Killian